Wake-Up Call

Cigarette smoke slowly escapes her already alcohol tainted breath. Panic, panic, is all Patrick can read from his life-long friend's body language. Consoling her is the best he can do, though he debates whether this discussion is even worth having.

"Nick, my best friend Nick!", Patrick continues to think as if his mind were a broken record, repeating, repeating. Ashamed to be such a nosy creep, it would be a mistake the magnitude of an earthquake to let her know just what he heard through the one and a half-inch thick wooden barrier.

Sarah has nothing to say. Working from one breath to the next, the best she can do is keep her eyes on the road. "Could you be any more distracting Nick? I can't even keep steady on the road now," she wants to yell.

One last, meaningful tear drips from her glossy eyes,... the car's white lights found their way off into the ditch; just like a missile guided by the precision of a laser. Tumbling down the road, their heads race into the airbags in a fraction of a second; She shrieks oh so loud. The three thousand pound metal block slowly finally loses its momentum, and soon is at a halt.

The night's events have suddenly lost all of their significance. Bruised and battered, their bodies have remained in tact. Patrick grasps on to Sarah's hand, and mutters the words, " I love You", in a much more meaningful way than he ever intended. As frightening of a lesson as it was, the reality that things could be so much worse sets in. Patrick and his beloved friend have found a greater significance in their very lives.

Through nature, I am told that I have a purpose, a calling if you will. I listen to the voice, the poem, the melody of nature for my direction. A sort of creative energy, of the highest forms of insight is informing me of the directions I must go, the path I must choose, each step of the way. Particularly, I feel a sway towards certain things in life that must, must not be ignored. For there is a reason the surroundings in my life are just the way they are. Like many things, however, they may just not be directly understandable as I live, comprehending through a limited human perception.

These words, are the words of the world of nature I am such a welcomed part of. It is from the air I breath, that the insects swim and in about, in which the birds survival depends on, which carries their beautiful voices to my ears that these very words are possible to appear. Of course, that is, among many, many, many other miracles, which through an entire life of introspection will not be understood in its entirety, nor will it be completely misunderstood to any extent; for the whole nature of each voice, each melody, taste, sight, and smell is a fruitful taste into an infinite, all encompassing, beautiful, and welcoming dimension known as reality;…That of truth, love, and light.

Just as the wind blows leaves, brothers from the same tree, in scattered directions, each aspect of nature has its very own destination, and purpose in its role of life and eternity. Listen, smell, understand if you will, into the greatest depths of awareness, and tell the world, what is yours?

I AM

Anything that I want to achieve knowing, or realizing, or anything I am going to do in my life, is already in me. Sometimes it's right in your face, and you don't know it, or perhaps your just not ready for it. Sometimes I like to make myself think that I am onto something, or that im headed in some way I haven't been before. But can't I just say that about my entire life? I started out as a human who knew nothing of anything. Whenever I heard the engine of a car passing by outside the hospital, I didn't need to associate that sound with car. When I was outside, and I saw the bird, there was no need to label that object as bird. It just was. I was breathing, blinking, seeing, feeling, smelling, tasting. Did I have the need to question it? No, I simply was. Was there any need to label anything? No, it all just was. Ever since the day I was born, since my life was conceived, I have been picking up information and many things my entire life. Can you say when I was 5 that I was more "enlightened" than when I was 1? Yes. You can say the same about each day that follows the next. But was there a need to put a label on your state of being when you were just born, when you just were? No. Is there a need to put a label on your state of being now, no. The only thing you do by referring to yourself as "enlightened" for example, is set yourself up to compare to something that you once were. Something that has dawned on me is that I have always had complete control on anything that has ever happened to me. I have control of every thought, every feeling, every single thing that happens to me. Yes, I have had many influences who have contributed to my character and the way I have turned out to be. But can't you say I chose those influences? I chose what to listen to and what not to listen to. Can you say that I am just a combination of every person I have ever met? No, but I can say that every encounter I have had has ultimately shaped some way of how I am in each and every moment. Yet, is how I am, who I am? No. How am I? How can you possibly answer that question without putting a label on me? So who am I? All that I can say is that I simply am. Theres no reason to really put a label on anything. Do I feel a need to name my hamster? No… he just is, and I know that. Is there a reason to name my plant in my front yard or put a label on it? No. It just is, and I know that. You can say that about anything. I have a friend named Matt. So is mine. Big deal, we know that each other just are.

I have gotten the sense that everything in the world already is mine. I am appalled at the fact that our society encourages placing "ownership" on pieces of earth. It's everyone's earth, everything's earth. We don't trip out when we see a squirrel in "our yard", but when a person is in our yard we make the biggest deal in the world. We all only are and everything only is. To say that this acre of land that surrounds my house is "mine", I am labeling land. I am labeling this earth. Its absolutely disgusting. If my family goes bankrupt and this land is now possessed by the bank, I still own it. Where man goes wrong is by becoming attached to that piece of land.

This is what leads to war. Its absolutely absurd to become attached to anything. What must be understood is that you own your universe! I am not to become attached to any feeling I have once had, or any relationship I have once had, or any experience I have had in my life, or any person I loved who has now died. I owned them all. Can I become upset over losing my car I had some great memories with? No, I own those memories. Being upset stems from becoming attached. Can I be upset that my grandmother is now deceased? No, I own the memories I had with her. Even though she is gone now, is she out of this story that I call life? No, she will very much be in it till the very end. So maybe when I die, my story will end. Does that mean my story never existed? No.

Again, you own your universe. Are you attached to your kidney? No, because you own it. If it is taken out of my body, should I all of the sudden be attached to it? No. I still own it. It is a misconception that just because it's out of your skin, it's not yours anymore. Your skin is just an organ, Nothing more. Your body is just as much a part of your universe as that tree in front of your yard is. It is all your universe. Is your body you? Well, its just as much you as that tree in your front yard, or that deer on the other side of the world, or that star 500 billion miles away. If you own that kidney ( inside of you, and outside of you), you own that star billions of miles away. Is that star you? No, but you own it. Is that kidney, or your face for that matter you? No, but you own it. Are your memories, your characteristics, your thoughts you? No, but you own them. If your thoughts and characteristics aren't you, than what is you? I am me. Well, who is me? Lets rephrase that. Who am i? Well, aren't we back to where we started? Who am i?

I am.

What can I say about my kidney? It is

That bird flying by? It is

That star billions of miles away? It is.

That's all you can say about anything. There is no need to compare things? Why compare now to how things used to be? That stems from attachment, that stems from labeling things. The only thing I can say is that I am, and I am now, in this moment. I own how I used to be and how things used to be. That's enough for me.

Observation

You may make a simple observation about this video: You are in the same perspective, however everything around you is rushing by, all so fresh, new, and different.
Can't you say the same thing about yourself?
You are staying in the same perspective your whole life, yet everything is going by, each moment something new is happening- something different, something fresh. Yet while everything is staying the same with you, you are moving around, doing the discovering. Sometimes you may park and take a rest, yet the next morning you get up and do it all over again. Yet above all, beyond all the stops and goes, chances and fortunes, you are the director, choosing where to put yourself in each and every moment.

Ephemeral Beings

Death to me has been such a prominent thought as of lately.

It is oh so commonly thought of some fairy-tale, something that only happens to "other people", until it smacks you right in the face. Yet, this happens every single day, every single second someone dies.
Be it for the goodwill of another being, because of some unjust attack, because they are hurting too much because of the loss of someone they hold dearly, even because of suicide.
Some die slowly, some much more quickly.
The fact is, anything that exists will eventually die.
Ants, the tree in your front lawn, fish in the sea, your best friend, your family, you.

I've heard it be phrased, that i'm happy because i am not dying anytime soon.
However, not one person, one being is promised tomorrow.
We are simply too fragile, we are ephemeral beings.

Life to me, seems like it is rarely given the respect that it deserves.
Likewise, death, a part of nature isn't either.

I've heard a quote, by a girl named sarah-
Love is watching someone die

It is in your last seconds of knowing someone, that you realize just how much you love them.
Most people have had near death experiences, or scares in their life; myself included.
It's just as you realize that you are okay, that you will walk this planet even longer that you are just that appreciative of the life bestowed upon you.

I ask, why wait until this occurance? Embrace life
Depend on no afterlife, to make you feel comforted in what you really have.
Depend not on tomorrow, to get through today.
Essentially, you are promised nothing.

Intersecting rhythms
Lovely beats and sounds
Seldom is the melody heard
When no time is spent
To stop and look around

Today was alright, nothing really special.
Funny how simple and strait forward your life can be, while at the very same time there is always this surprise and wonder element for the simple fact that you are alive, and experiencing the world.
I wonder sometimes if everyone else is as astonished and puzzled as i am; hence a puzzled piece.
Today we saw 2 movies in sociology; the first one was about some guy who was just awesome and was dying. He had all these insights, and its good to see people realize these little things in life.
He ends up dying, simply surrounded by family and friends.
I look at my direction in life and sometimes admire that i really don't have any. I'm always looking for ways to improve, yeah, but its just like, this is it. All you can really do is enjoy the small things.
No, i'm not jumping buildings or skydiving every day, but i'm living just how i want to and its good to know im perfectly content with the friends and family, and things i do.
The second movie we saw was about a family going to Iran. I have to wonder what it is that stops people from jumping out of their shell, religionwise anyways. It's like denying the possibility of stars beyond the illuminated blue sky of day.
Anywho just a few thoughts of the night. Hope i get some good rest